Chimp Test Incident

Bradley chugs an Arizona Tea before embarking on the Human Benchmark test

The Chimp Test Incident occurred on the 25th July 2021 after Bradley completed the "Human Benchmark" test in the final 30 minutes of the stream. The full VOD of the Chimp test can be found here: [1]

Prelude

Brad's fanbase had long been requesting that he complete some form of test on stream as a form of alternative entertainment if he didn't feel like playing one of his usual games and as a way to prove his self declared "High IQ". Bradley had been streaming Dota 2 for over 6 hours but on the final game of the night, ran into a "useless team" and lost. Brad insisted he played the game better than any of his team - pointing to the fact he had the most kills while conveniently failing to notice he also had the most deaths. After Brad's team exchanged words with him in the post game chat Brad declared he wanted to stop the stream, but quickly decided to instead do the Human Benchmark test before stopping as his fans had been requesting for days at this point.

After leaving the camera for 2 minutes and 20 seconds to go to the restroom, Bradley returned and immediately chugged a large quantity of Arizona tea - Ginseng with green tea and honey flavour. He panted from the effort of drinking so much of the Arizona tea so quickly before wiping his mouth and beginning the test itself, starting with a "Reaction Time test".

Urgh. 6 and a half hours and I already want to stop the stream. You know what? I'm going to go to the restroom, come back and let's do that uhh... the test thing. -Bradley Dragon

Reaction Time

Bradley concentrating hard on completing the Reaction Time Test

To complete the Reaction Time test the user must wait for the red screen to turn green and then click. After doing this 5 times the user's result is the average difference in milliseconds between the screen turning green and them clicking across these attempts.

Bradley began the test by completing his first round in 235ms. He then attempted to cheat, spam clicking the test until he realised that just kept resetting it after 7 resets. Brad's second legitimate result came in at 294ms, but after scrolling down and noting the average of 273ms - which he was now above - he declared that "I don't think this test is really that fair." He immediately followed this up by getting a third result of 262ms and a fourth of 229ms before elaborating that he thinks the test is a "Hardware test" as there is "Such a thing as hardware lag". Bradley finished the test with a fifth result of between 203ms and 207ms, giving him his final average result of 245ms.

Bradley's 245ms average result placed him in the 33rd percentile of people who had taken the test so far. Bradley had no comment on this and proceeded on to the second test - "Sequence Memory".

Sequence Memory

The Sequence Memory test is very simple: there are a set of 9 buttons arranged in a 3x3 grid. When started, a button will light up and an audible sound effect is heard. The test is completed by clicking the buttons that lit up in order. Every time the end of the sequence is reached the sequence begins again, but the number of buttons that light up in order increases by 1.

Bradley completed this test silently and was doing very well until he seemingly forgot which square to start with and chose the wrong one on sequence 8 giving him a final score of 8. Brad misread the graph that showed other people's scores and incorrectly assumed his score of 8 meant he was "perfectly average". In reality he had scored in the 27th percentile on this test, putting him far below average.

Hahaha! Yep that's about right. I guess I'm perfectly average! -Bradley Dragon

Chimp Test

This is the test from which this incident takes its name. It's a very simple test where squares must be clicked in order according to their numbers. The amount of squares that must be clicked increases over time and, after clicking the first square, the rest are hidden from view. The user gets 3 "strikes" before their test is over and their highest result stands.

Bradley was immediately confused by the description of the test and made an error on his first attempt. He didn't seem to understand why he got a strike and verbally questioned it. Continuing onto the 6th round Bradley made another error mixing up the position of a 5 with a 6 earning him his second strike. At this point Bradley rejected that reality, claiming the number he clicked was "definitely a 5". The very next round after making this mistake Bradley made the exact same error and finished the test with a score of 6, getting angry and shouting at the test.

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Bradley attempts the Chimp Test

Recreating this result on the Human Benchmark website shows that Bradley's score of 6 here would put him in the 3rd percentile of those tested; however, Bradley decided to do this test a second time as he was unsatisfied with this result.

What?! That was definitely a 5. THAT WAS A 5! THE 6 WAS HERE! *sighs* let's try that again...
-Bradley Dragon

Bradley tilts his head in confusion at failing at the Chimp Test

After restarting the test Bradley reached his previous position and immediately made the same error. He insisted that the "test is cheating" and explains that he "clearly remembers" reality being different. The fact that Bradley failed in this way 3 times suggests that his short term memory struggles to hold more than 6 data points at once. More research is needed to be done on this matter, though anecdotal evidence from many Dota 2 streams and replay reviews backs this theory up so it is held in good standing.

Bradley continued on with the test, making another mistake on the 7th sequence attempt which he blamed on a miss click while stating that his mouse doesn't work properly. After continuing with the test he completed the 7th sequence on his second try, but then failed to complete the 8th sequence. This earned him a score of 8 placing him in the 8th percentile. Bradley was unhappy with his result for this test declaring "Fuck that one, I swear that one cheats" upon seeing his awful percentile result.

Aim Trainer

As one of the simplest Human Benchmark tests to understand Bradley didn't waste any time in getting to grips with clicking the targets as they appeared - with zero commentary. His deep focus on the task at hand unfortunately didn't pay off as his score of 572ms was only enough to rank him in the 16th percentile; leading him to remark that he "didn't do so well". In all, Bradley managed to hit every target first time bar one. His low score in this test did not come as a shock to him, or his viewers, as he spends little time playing games that require swift and immediate accurate mouse movements, like First Person Shooters.

Typing Test

[some photographic evidence of Brad's typing ability in dota/discord would not go amiss here]

Upon opening the Typing Test Bradley immediately groaned, knowing that the Crab Claw would make this test quite difficult for him. As had been revealed in many streams prior Bradley is unable to touch type, and would repeatedly check his hands' positions on the keyboard. The Dragon was tasked with recreating an excerpt from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes in which Watson describes Holmes' relationship with the character Irene Adler. Bradley completed the first line of the test almost flawlessly, at a slow and steady pace, opting for a strategy of disregarding the capitalization of letters in favour of speed. With a few minor hiccups he proceeded through the rest of the typing test at this pace and level of accuracy, eventually clocking in at 3 minutes and 10 seconds, making this the longest of all of the Human Benchmark tests. After a sigh of exasperation Brad regarded his score of 31WPM - the 29th percentile - "not bad". He went on to explain that he is "not used to doing capitals", something his left hand would undoubtedly hinder.

Verbal Memory

All that lay between the Dragon and victory now were a series of three memory tests. Bradley began this one with a trademark head tilt and scowl, signalling that the test's instructions were immediately unclear to him, and clarified by scrolling down to find more information. Bradley quickly interpreted that the percentile distribution graph's left skew meant that "everyone does shit at this test", and brimmed with confidence as he began - despite not fully understanding what to do. With a persistent frown, Bradley clicked his way to an initial score of 8 words remembered, before screaming, "WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ASKING ME!" and explaining that he was clicking buttons at random. He then reasoned that the solution to this test was a "pattern", and attempted it a second time. He correctly noted that the first word given would always be new, arguably the most intelligent thing he said during this entire stream, and then managed to almost double his initial score to 14 points, landing him in the 21st percentile. "Whatever".

Number Memory

Unlike the previous test, the instructions for its numerical cousin could not have been made simpler - see a number, memorize it, type it in a box. Bradley accidentally quit out of this test at one point, but it seems unlikely that this was foul play to boost his score. Bradley cleverly employed a technique where he would sing the numbers to himself to embed them into his short term memory. Hardcore Bradley fans might recognize the tunes of these songs to be very similar to other melodies Bradley has sang to himself in games of Dota, like the "Lion is so broken" song [link to song page?]. Bradley conceded defeat at a 9-digit number, leaving his final score at 8 numbers and playing him in the 18th percentile. According to Bradley, 8 digits is his maximum.

Visual Memory

The final test involved memorizing the positions of squares on a grid. It's unknown whether Bradley's famed Spatial Thinking ability played a role in this test, as the grid was only two-dimensional and a mental rotation of it was not required. The test went by without much issue, and Bradley's final score clocked in at 10 points, placing him in the 23rd percentile. Brad erroneously noted that this result was "perfectly average" for reasons unknown.

Summary

Bradley's final scores.

With his Human Benchmark finally complete, Bradley declared, "So you see...I am...yeah.", before admonishing the eponymous Chimp Test, explaining that his low score was attributed to the test being "not right" and that it "bugged out" on him, which was quite unfortunate. Brad expressed relief that the test was over, and garnered some respect from chat for taking the time to complete it. The remainder of the stream was a completely empty scene, with Bradley contemplating what to stream next for ten minutes, considering Jackbox and Minecraft, before rethinking this. Bradley raided Mason, and signed off with a quick "night, guys".

Aftermath

(Need clips adding + final summary of what this led to (crsd incident))